19 th of June 2005
FATHERS DAY

Hello friends,

I have been thinking about lots of things lately. I know why is that. It is because I am going to go and I am going to change my life and that is going to make me fell vulnerable and sensitive and as far as I am concern it scares me. I am excited but also scare.

I am going to miss the people that I have worked for two years. Most of them have become my friends and the rest I do not care.

But that was just one of the things I was thinking about.

Another one is the fact that I am saying goodbye to the show and that shows in to the way I do it. I see it as when you see that your dog or you cat is going to die. I do not want to compare to the lost of a friend or a relative or even a lover it would not be fair. But if it is jut a pet. Well, when you see the end my be close you start to prepare yourself and also the pet, for example you give the pet a special meal, buy a big sac of sweeties at wall-mart and from that day on the animal will fell incredible loved.

Also you pay to him/her more attention and spend more quality time with it. No that before you did not do it but now every time you go for a walk together you know in the back of your mind that it may be the last time, the last walk on the beach, the last walk in the park, etc

On the other hand there is the horrible thing that you start to des-attach. Being the end very close you start to emphasis the defects more than the virtues. It is normal you wanted a cat and they gave you a dog and during all this time you have created many reasons on you head of why a dog is better than a cat and now you are starting to go back to your all thought and to have a dog is really bad while to have a cat is great. It is simple in order to not suffer you change your heart.

In ZUMANITY's case I wanted a good show and they gave me this so I took it and in two years I got as far a loving the artist but I never got to love the show so I want to stop doing it as soon as possible.

Have fun