February 2007
AK 47
Hello;
Paul is the arms specialist and he brought three different guns but four really because of one of them he brought two. He brought and Uzi, two 9 millimetres and an AK 47. In hi own words the use of the famous Kalashnikov is very simple. That is the reason why it is the most popular weapon in the world. “You through it to the ground and keeps shooting, you put it in the river and still shoots, a truck goes over the machine and still shoots” he told us before starting our training.
I pull the cooker to load the gun and I cached my fingers and while all my colleagues were laughing he told me that it is going to happen more times.
The AK was quite heavy but you could shoot bullet-by-bullet or rounds. When you pull the trigger the weapon does not move at all so it is a very safe gun.
I got assigned two weapons, the AK and one 9 millimetres. The 9 millimetres is too big and is not practical. My hands are too small to try reach the little keys that the gun has to make it work. So I presume that while we will be in the jungle the first one to get killed is going to be me. It is always the same; the fat and clumsy gets killed first.
I had rehearsal for a playstation game. We are shooting it on Monday and Wednesday in Derby and that is where I would stay. It breaks my heart not go back home to see Miren, to be with Miren for at least a week but sometimes that is how the whole thing goes.
We rehears in a place very close to the Arsenal football stadium, which by the way it is very impressive and slick. When I saw the stadium and all the houses around I imagine that the football clubs are like big mafia families now a days. The whole surroundings of the stadium are already in the hands of the club in case they want to become bigger and the will. It looks like a big beetle eating all the debris around him to convert it in good energy.
We rehears for three hours and we had the chance to meet each other's. One Mexican, one Argentinean and myself made the team of paramilitary. The hero of the game is white and with Irish origins. They all seemed very nice but you can see that no one wants to look stupid or want to laugh at all.
I had a good laugh and left and one to get the train to Newbury. We had a show in the evening that Tanya said it went a little bit ropy. I had fun; I had lots of fun because I did not give a shit. I was so tired to be bad that for me it went very well or at least as bad as it has been going on until yesterday.
We had a drink in the bar and then I walked home with my suitcase and the whole palaver. I am staying with Stephan in a B&B and it is quite nice. We have a very small room. It makes me thing of the time when we were touring England. We have not done that for such a long time that it fells a really new thing to do.
Have fun.NEWBURY
Hello;
We have gone to Newbury this morning to do a run through. I was going to stay there the night but I have rehearsals of the play station game tomorrow. In a fantastic Spymonkey fashion the technicians have not have a very good accommodation. Tanya's room was the teenager room of the house and they moved the youngster downstairs and Tanya took over his room. So the youngster and his brother took advantage of the special circumstances and stayed playing games and watching TV until very late so she could not sleep until four o'clock. She had to call Lisa and cancel the room and move to Nick, a friend of hers from the University.
Here we are back on tour in England and realising that the jump from small scale touring to middle scale touring is not going to be a very easy one. All these places remain us a lot from the time we started to tour with Stiff.
What do I think about it? I like touring. I like touring but in better conditions and to better places thou I think this is going to be just for a little while. Soon we will be touring proper theatres in England where we could do our shows in very good conditions.
We did a dress rehearsal especially for Andy. He has done a brilliant job relighting the show and he had to practice.
For us it was great to do the show again because we do not know it very well. It is a very thin show. It is so thin that if you are coming to see it bears with us for a while. I suppose that it is going to be like this for a while. You can see that there are many funny things there but it is very difficult to make them all fit together in the right way. At the moment everything is there on the stage and we serve the play, one dish after the other instead of making sure that the dishes flow and the what you remember at the end is what a wonderful meal and not a the first course was the best.
I am not sure the simile works very well but I had fun writing about it.
I took the train at seven fifty four. There is a train every hours to go to London or to come from London so I should have stayed in the theatre much longer but well, I had already left and I am reading this book “The world according to Garp” so I used the time read it.
It comes and goes with me and books. For quite a while I have not read any books for quite a while but since last two weeks I have read two. I cannot explain why. I must have attacks of reading and then once the attack is gone you do not suffer from it anymore.
I had comfort food for dinner at Cal's. He had cooked sausages and mush and that is what I had. I was ready to go to bed while my friends where in Newbury having and Indian meal in a restaurant.
Have fun.THE HOUSE
Hello;
This place is called the house but in fact it is not really a house it is a pub, a Gastro pub. In fact it does not look any more like a pub and it looks more like one of those swanky pubs from the city where all the rich people like to have glasses of fancy wine that is not very good but it is exotic.
I had dinner with my friend Paul Millican. “You are so gay”, I told him. And I like him very much, he makes me laugh a lot and now we have been friends for many years.
The dinner was nice. I have to say that it was not very nice. We both had fish, mine was with chickpeas and his was with mash potato. I have to say that I thought it was going to be more like a good home cooking and for me it did not fell unique. The dish was original but not very exciting. My favourite thing was certainly the wine a lovely Pinot Noir from Burgundy. The dinner was expensive but that is how it goes in England if you go out for dinner you have to pay lots of money.
In the morning I had an audition for a part in a Playstation 3 game. It is completely weird. I have to play a Colombian narco that works in the jungle. I got the part so now I am going to be at home just two days before I go to Canada. I hate that but I think it is a very good opportunity to make money. The also pay me very well. I told Miren and she is not very happy if it helps I am not very happy either or better I am confused because I should be really happy but when I received the news I got really sad. This is the price to pay when you live at the front line of comedy.
I met my friends from Pocoputia. I am not sure about that name and I have not had the courage to tell them. They are the company that I was directing in Vienna in the summer. They are trying to create a new company, a new clown company with clowns from all over the world or from four countries and due to the lack of time and my commitments and the fact that they do not have much money we have not being able to finish the show just yet. They did a scratch performance in London while we were in Switzerland and I saw the video yesterday. It was not great but I laugh for a little bit while watching. They did not know the show very well so it was very slow apart from the fact that the video makes all much slower.
I like them quite a lot and it makes me fell responsible to direct a show for people so dedicated. We had some lunch and some wine together and then they left. We agreed that this year the show has to be done because we will be loosing momentum and we can afford that.
I am very excited because suddenly many things are coming my way but I have to be careful so I do not step on Spymonkey's shoes.
Have fun.BYE BRIGHTON
Hello;
The last show at GAC was full. The show was not as sparkling as the night before but the more we know the show the better it is. I felt well in some moments and not so well in others. I have so much work to do in my part that it scares me sometimes.
We packed everything and put it inside a little van. It is the first time in many years that we can go to a gig with a small van and everybody else in a car.
It kind of makes you think that many of the decisions that we made these passed years towards growing as a bigger company have not been the right ones. For instance to have a bigger set does not necessarily means that now you are a bigger company, to hire many more people does not make you a bigger company it makes you a company with more people.
So we have had a much better week than I ever expected. This is all thanks to the show that we have that thou we know it is not ready yet it gives the audience enough laughs for them to enjoy and not be disappointed. Also the show it is not an easy show because the audience comes to see a show called Bless by a comedy company so they know that they are going to see some outrageous staff.
For me two big revelations I take; one the fact that we would never be able to make a musical show with Spymonkey. I think this is first because apart from Cal and Toby we are not musicians and second because the musicians thinks that is impossible to do musical things with people that are not musicians.
Second revelation is, Graeme, Tanya and Andy are the best technical team we would never have. Of course Lucy is absolutely fantastic and talented and we would have never been able to do anything since the creation of Spymonkey without her. Also she is very pretty, charming and witty. The three new members have been a fantastic discovery because we started to think that our luck with technical people was never going to change and then we found them and it has been a fantastic ride. I wish we could keep them with us forever.
Then I went home to watch TV and relax with my book and to have a glass of wine by myself.
I was really tired. We work quite hard and perhaps because I am going through a little bit of a crisis I fell more tired or my body hurts more than before. What do I know?
There is plenty to do in the show and the response from the audience is very optimistic. Some friends like Flick said that it should not be advertised as preview but as scratch, meaning that she did not like it. She is a friend and other people say that is the best thing they have ever seen. Both opinions help for the creation of the show and I do not think any one of them is completely realistic but that is just my opinion.
We have Sunday and Monday off and then on Tuesday we will be rehearsing in Newbury.
Have fun.FAT & LAZY
Hello;
Of course I am talking about me. It would not be fair to say that everybody that is fat is lazy or that everybody that is lazy is fat. In my case I do think I am not fat & lazy I think I am a little fat and a little lazy but both things do not necessarily related one to the other.
Nevertheless is what the other people that surround me think. I personally care but do not give a fuck.
We had a great show last night. Everybody was very happy apart from Stephan that does not care. I could not be very happy either. I am not at the top of my game in the show and that is painful. I think I am going to have to be like that for a while until the whole show is resolve.
There is the question of having a sketch show or a proper show with character development and all the story line things? For me there is not one without the other at least in our shows. For instance we could try to do the show with sketch after sketch and no link or presentation of any kind but that would be a little bit boring.
In my opinion we will end up developing the characters storyline until the end because that is what we do and that is what it give us lots of fun.
After the show we had lots of comments. We were expecting the comments anyway that is one of the reasons why we do all these previews so we can get feed back and then put it in the show the next day.
One comment I would like to make to all of you who make comments is that all the comments about the show are welcome but to try to understand that we are going through a creative process and it is a very particular one helps us. It is true that you do not need to know how do we do our shows but it is always a lengthy process and it takes time to put a show on the stage. What you saw yesterday night it was a work in progress, you might have enjoyed a lot or you might have thought that it was a pile of shit.
The party of all the friends that came to see the show happened in the Couch & Horses. Everybody was there drinking and chatting until late and it was a well deserved drink after days of working hard.
Stephan and me left for home because we are not very good friends of big gatherings.
It does amaze me to create a show each time I do it. It is never easy but it never gets easier. You fight and try to come up with the best thing you have ever done but at first it always look as if the level, your highest level is the one you achieve before and is then when things starts to go forward and to get really difficult. The more difficult it gets the more rewarding is because you star to see the whole thing moving like big ship leaving the yard, the deck where it go build. It starts his sailing by rocking slowly in the water and getting a feeling of what it is. The main sails get open felling the push of the wind and the big body starts to pick up speed over the surface of the water. That is the felling we are starting to get with the show.
Have fun.SAINTLY STUPIDITY
Hello;
“We weren't always sure what was going on in this bonkers anarchic and brilliantly random sketch show – but we laugh all the way through anyway.
King Herod and Salome dance naked in a see through plastic bag, Saint Bernadette turns into a pool dancing Britney Spears at she burns at the stake and a serial killer called the Ginger Stinger-r compulsively sets light to red headed people.
Inspired by a children's storybook about saints, the Brighton-based troupe play serious criminals enacting the lives of saints. A female rapist gets her kit off as much as possible, a pension fund embezzler becomes gun-totting drug baron the Butcher of Tijuana and John the Baptist gets tempted by a seductive Salome.
Between these vignettes are arbitrary saint- themed comedy and physical theatre skits including a naked- except – for-a-pig-tail dance and an impression of Mother Teresa viciously fighting the Good Samaritan for the right to help the stranger by the side of the road.
There is also manic music, ridiculous dance, physical contortions and double helpings of slapstick interwoven with muti-media scenes projected onto a screen at the back of a stage.
Spymonkey stress this performance is a work in progress planned for Brighton's 2008 Festival and could change by the time next May comes around. This “in progress” status could explain the at times chaotic, unpolished feel of this wacky exploration of sainthood although, on the other hand it is also his charm.
The action may be random, insane and often make little sense, but that is one of the reasons it is so funny”
Katya Mira for The Argus, February 23, 2007
This news waited to us as we arrived t the theatre. The theatre is not very good. I do like the building but because it is a listed building it is not possible to do anything with the whole motherfucker. So I suppose that is the main reason why the building is closing as a theatre and I do not know what is it going to become.
The spirits were really up and we had quite a big house for the evening show. Many friends but also many important people that now and in the pass have made a different for the live of the company.
We worked with Cal for the whole day and then we stopped just around five thirty. You do need to have a little bit of time to do your own things when you have to do a show in the evening.
I have come out with, well I have not really come out with anything Cal thought that it would be a good idea for me to do a small laugh like if I am embarrassed to be in front of the audience and it seems to be working. I hope that when you all come to see it you are able to enjoy the show.
Have fun.BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Hello;
Do you know how some moments in life you think that everything happens at the same time? For not apparent reason you do not have time to think and everything is waiting for you around the corner and all the things hit you and you do not have enough time to assimilate.
Today we had the first meeting of our board of directors that would make us do things better and more properly. It is really nice to have some one that you can go and ask for advice whenever you need one. They are Mick Perrin, Kathy Bourne, Gill Marcus, Julien Boast and the three Spymonkey. These people are going to give us lots of input in the business side of it so we will stop loosing money and hopefully they will help us to make more money because at the moment we are extremely poor.
Then we had to dash to the theatre to rehears. The show needs some work, in fact need quite a lot of work and we work the whole day until the show.
The show was packed with people. Sorry that is not the right thing to say what it was packed with people was the theatre and that made us a little bit nervous. The people in the auditorium where mostly friends so everybody felt a little bit more full of responsibility.
I do not think the show went great.
Some of the thing we had worked that day went better in the rehearsal and then others went very well in the show. I neither did nor fell happy in the Bernadette because my glasses did not fit and I still have too much respect for the play. Same things happen with the scene of the Butcher but we have not done the notes yet so I will tell you all about it tomorrow.
My friends where very good in the show, they seemed to riding away with pleasure and having lots of fun doing the show. If I have to be completely honest I have fun in some moments specially when I decided to don't give a shit about what it happens.
We have a show that taking Cal's words it is not as funny as the ones that we have done before. People comes expecting to have a big laugh and then the whole thing do not deliver.
Then after the show there was a Q&A and the starting comment was about the use of cripples in the show and how unsettling that was for some of the members of the audicence. Of course we do not want to create that kind of controversy but to a certain state you want to do some jokes that are not politicly correct because we know we are being really naughty. That is not what we told to the people that did not like the scene of the beggar we told that we did not want to make fun of mentally handicap people but there is something funny about the way they move and about the fact that everybody should be able to laugh about him or herself. We do that because we fell curious and we want to imitate it but not in a nasty way but in a nice way.
I have to say I am still a little bit depressed and taking one day at the time.
PREVIEW AT GAC
Hello;
This is just the thing at the Argus “ It all grows out of our merciless mickey-taking of each other” explains Parks. “Petra is extremely dense with the most fantastic talent for malapropisms. According to the others, I am the good looking but rather boring one. Aitor is fat and lazy. And Stephan – How can you mock Stephan? Well, he is the German.”
That is what it was in the Argus today the local paper in Brighton with a picture of Petra and Toby. That is not too bad but it is one of the pearls that Toby said but I have to say thou it hurts I think it is really right.
We are pretty ready for what we have and for what we are going to have. Still the show is in production and there are many things that have to get resolve in order to have a brilliant show. I hope that if you are reading this it does not make you to go away from coming to see the show because there are many nice things to see in the show and I think it still is a laugh.
We have being doing many runs through until now and that is a very good thing. There is this unsettle thing about the whole thing. Let me explain it to you a little bit more. We have been doing this kind of work now for teen years. We have the feeling that now we know a little bit more about what we do. And this is a big mistake but a very normal thing to have because it is the experience that we have had and what we do. Then the terrible realisation that not matter what you do it is always difficult and it will make you suffer.
On the other hand, and I know I am contradicting myself, once you are on the stage all those shows and the experience that we have accumulated come to live. We have to have the confidence that these things are going to pay off.
Then how can we have a very good show? The show is there but still needs lots of work and lots of witting, specially writing.
I am very concentrated in the whole show. I am going to have a very good show; I am not going to let go with any mistake because that is not good. So, I will make mistakes and then I will react happily and with lost of humour so the audience will like me. I know it is selfish but when you have to do an opening night you need all the help in the world to be able to have a very good show.
My friends seem to be in good shape and they seem to have a fantastic pleasure while doing what they do in the show.
Why do I think or why did I think that everything was going to be very easy this time? That is really stupid. And never the less the work that we do it is always stupid so now I cannot really thing straight and clever.
I want us to have a very good show. We need us to have a very good show. We have done good shows in the pass and!! God help us¡¡ so we will have another good one soon.
Have fun.DEBTS & SHORTFALLS
Hello;
We are broke. Yes, face the music and dance because we have a short fall of over forty five thousand pounds and we have to do something about it before things get too tricky.
Theses kind of news is never welcome and always hit you by surprise. This is something that never hits you properly and in the right way. And that is why the monkey worries are the worst ones. We have a meeting with the board of directors this week and they would have to help us to rise the money that we need to complete the show and to put Spymonkey in the place where it should be. But if any one of you out there in the middle of the Internet space has some money to spare or simply wants to give some money to the company then contact us in our web page and make the donation. Our web page is www. Spymonkey.co.uk
Petra just arrived from London. Stephan will come later and Toby and me have been here in the theatre for a while. The whole team apart from Cal and Lucy are here and it is really nice to have everybody around. This is a good team and we have to make sure everybody is happy and gets everything they deserve and even more.
We are doing gig all these week at the Garden Arts Centre. It is hard work and it does not get any easier. We have been working the whole day non-stop but especially Graeme, Tanya and Andy and Toby have been working a lot.
Cal did not come today so we had the whole day for us to do a technical run and we have managed to go almost to the end of the show.
Then we got some more bad news and it is that the Just for Laughs festival is not taking us because it is too expensive. And the tour in New Zeeland is gone also. So it looks as if we are going to be out of work until September or October and that is not good at all. I broke the news to my lovely wife and now she is not going to be able to sleep for some time. It is not easy the kind of work we do and we have to be ready to do anything that we can in order to make money. No, I do not mean that, we do not really need to sell our bodies in order to go home with a little bit of money but we have to be careful and creative.
I think we have a good show in our hands and it is going to get better and better all the time. We really need to write more material for it and we really need to find the right angle.
And with Spymonkey and its debts and shortfall we could close the shop but for now I think we are going to go forward and we are going to try to recuperate all the money that we are owed and then carry on doing shows and tours and everything that will come in our way. It is not easy that is for sure but that does not mean that we are going to stop doing it. Almost everything you do in this life is difficult so lets at least keep doing what we like.
Have fun.BUTCHERS
Hello;
Well, here I am again. I am in Brighton. I left Bilbao this morning and at two o'clock I was already walking around Brighton. I had to go and get a new mobile because I lost my old one in the airport in London when we went to Switzerland. When I did that, I have a new brand mobile but it is not very fancy it is just and average machine but will take me around for a while.
I took the bus number seven to go to Graeme and Flo where I am going to be staying for the two first days. Then I walked to their flat and when I rang the bell nobody answered. I phoned the house and Flo was inn. I took my suitcase upstairs and then we chatted for a while.
I went to buy dinner. The plan was to have sausages and mash. I went to the local butcher in Kept town. This is an area very close to where they live. When I found the butcher shop I realised that after twelve years living in England this was going to be the first time ever I had gone inside one.
I had never gone into one because I was scared. I thought that butcher had all a very strong accent and first I was not going to understand them and second they were not going to understand me. You see I was being racist.
The butcher of Kept town was very nice and did not have a strong accent as I was expecting or perhaps he did but now my English is a little bit better.
I order sausages after waiting for a while. The butcher was serving another customer and he was chatting a little bit with her. He told me that they would not have sausages until next day because they do them with real stomach so they have to dry it first and they were not ready yet.
I had to think fast, we were going to eat the three of us and Flo was expecting sausages. All the things in the counter look really good and I went for the chicken. I got six pieces of chicken and I went. The butcher of Kept town was a nice butcher as far as I am concern and I had broken my preconceptions about butchers.
From now on while in England I will try to get my meat in a butcher shop. And I was very happy with the way the butcher did not make a remark of my English being really bad. I am really paranoiac at the moment?
On my way back to the flat I have the felling that Graeme just liked red meats so I stopped at the local Coop and got some sausages. I wanted to be sure because they are very generous with letting me stay in their flat and I wan to behave properly.
Back in England and back in doing Bless.
Have fun.CARNAVALE
Hello;
When it is raining and you see people wearing fancy dresses it feels as if it does not work. It feels as if there is something wrong about it and someone should do something about it. I walk to the bakery to get croissant for my girl and the papers because I am leaving tomorrow again and we have a day to say good-bye.
Petra wrote from Switzerland;
Cheers Ait. Still in Switzerland. Leave tomorrow. Richie is definitely making progress. ( Richie is Roger's brother) The first time I saw him it was really scary. He was unrecognisable. His head was so swollen and his eyes were almost popping out his face because of the pressure on his head. But today after nearly two weeks of being in a coma he moved. We all cried tears of relief. His face is back to normal and he is starting to breath without the machine. I know its gory but science and technology just amaze me
Haven't thought anything about the show. We have been visiting Richie at length twice a day. The kids and Papa Volkart can't face it. So mainly its just been me Roge and Marianne, Richies wife. Its not easy and I really don't want to go tomorrow but life goes on and I will come back to visit him as soon as I can.
Roge being completely amazing and a total rock to his family. Will send him your love. Its been such a shock and then to really and truly understand how fragile life can be
Laters
Amazing and very touching the things that people have to go through. I know that this week has been really hard for them I hope they can recuperate so they will enjoy doing the show.
And then Stephan;
Slightly bad news.
My knee injury didn't really get better this week… so finally I went to see a doctor on Friday. Spent all day at the doctors and did a scan, got injections….
It doesn't look good at all.
The diagnose is: rupture of the meniscus, the cartilage is already damaged – the doctor thought this could be already a result of not having stopped after the incident happened, and of not resting. Fact is because the meniscus doesn't absorb the impact anymore, all the weight and force hits directly on the cartilages.
Plus I also go an oedema at the bone of my lower leg. Could be result from hitting the floor when I fell but also could be result of overusing my knee, too.
Well, fact is – I do need surgery!
Had a long conversation with the doctor about that I cannot have anything done until beginning of April. Impossible. I do need to work.
And his advice was if I keep on working I should absolutely try to take things as easy as possible plus I do need injections approx. once a week to keep the inflammation and swelling of the knee under control.
With all that support and precautions the doctor told me that I should be able to work till the April break.
So I booked already a flight back after Brighton. Will go back home next Sunday and Monday to get more injections and come to Newbury on Tuesday early morning.
Plus I do need to find a doctor in Calgary who can provide the required stuff once per week.
And this is Stephan's life during this week. What are Toby and me going to say about our week off? I do not know
Have fun.THE UNICYCLE
Hello;
Many years ago when I was student in Seville I did a curse in Circus skills. One of the skills we learnt was to ride a unicycle. For many years I used the one that there was in the school and that time of my life we were really “Taliban's” of theatre and all the skill we could learn we tried to learn them.
With the unicycle I practiced all the time. Where ever I had to go while in the school of theatre I will do it in the unicycle. There was a time when I was really good at it. I was not a professional so I was not a master but I knew how to control it more than just an aficionado.
Once I made a little bit of money I bought my own unicycle from Japan. I paid quite a lot of money and I still have it.
When I told Cal and Spymonkey that I could ride my unicycle and joggle at the same time they did not believe it. So as soon as Jon came back from opening his movie I went to his house in the country to see if I still could do the riding of the unicycle.
We had to pump the while because it had not being used for a very long time but as soon as it was up I went in and I fell on the floor. I had not being on top of a unicycle for almost fifteen years and I needed a little bit of practice. Too late to practice because is Saturday and I have to go to London on Monday and I do not even know if I am going to be able to use this machine in the show. I am sure it would be very nice to see one character riding a unicycle and joggling at the same time.
My unicycle is blue and has a very wide tyre that works very well when you have to get through very long distances. It is great to cut corners and it is very good to keep stable on the spot. I did not try to do joggle while trying to ride the unicycle because I would have flopped.
My unicycle had one of the pedals a little bit damaged and you can fell it when you are riding it but I am going to give it a go as soon as I go to Bilbao and then if Cal likes it I may take it to Canada. I think the show is crying for a skill and we already have the pool dancing of Petra but it would be nice to have another one. Thou that “other one” has to be one that Cal thinks is the right one. We will see.
I always enjoyed very much riding my unicycle thou it is true that when I did it in the streets for practicing I always felt very self conscious so now I am going to have to practice in the country side where no one could see me.
Lets see if I became very good and I can do it in the show.
THE BROOKLYN FOLLIES: A NOVEL
Hello;
This is Paul Auster book. I had to look in Amazon to see how really were title and even the name of the writer. Where the fuck does I have my head. I had written Broken Follys by Paul Ulster. Anyway I am terrible. So now that I know how the title and the name of the writer are I can strongly recommend you to read it because it is really beautiful book.
My mum gave it to me as Christmas present. I got in Brighton while rehearsing here and I did not opened it properly until the day I left Zurich and started to read it in the plane and in the airport of Palma de Mallorca.
It tells the story of man who has split with is wife and got over for now a lung cancer and goes to live in Brooklyn. The day he arrives with his daughter she asks him about what are his plans? And he says there are no plans because he is going to wait until he died. And then he starts to live in Brooklyn and decided to write all the fool things he and his family and the people that he has known has done during his life and he puts them in a box.
At the same time starts to discover his new world in Brooklyn, the place where he lunches, the place where he breakfasts and all the places between his apartment and the restaurants. In one of his trips he will meet with someone that it changes his life forever and let me tell you it is a rollercoaster from there until the end of the book.
I red it in a day. I sat in my sofa after lunch and I did not want to leave my sit until I had discovered how the story ended. I have to admit that I lay for a while but I could not stop even if I wanted.
I love the way you fell for the character that is the main character and how through his eyes you start to fell for all the characters that he meets in his life. Then he goes all over the place and like someone that is not afraid to die he encounters all the people with no reservations but full of curiosity and generosity.
Perhaps it is a little bit not believable that someone will change so much from day to night. Someone that was a mean bastard with his wife suddenly become understanding with the woman that just has met but at the end on the day when you are close to death many things happen. And all these things that happen affect you in a different way.
The book is very well written but also tells a very exciting story and a very human story where no one is really good or really bad.
My mum loved it and I loved it too so if that helps you give it a try please be our guest and read it I do not think you will be disappointed.
Have fun.THE BACKWOODS
Hello;
I had seen a new movie. I went there some our ago and now in my house I am trying to put my more sincere thoughts about it. Over all I loved the movie because I really take you to a normal place that I know very well because is the places where any person goes for walk in the mountains during the weekends and then transform it in the most horrorific place in the world. All those common things that we identified with the Basc Country become completely terrifying. Especially the rain and the close forest are the most claustrophobic thing I have ever seen.
The director is Koldo Serra. He is a young guy that we met some years ago in London because it was Jon's friend son and he needed a place to stay while in London. He came home and now he does movies with Gary Oldman. And by the way he is amazing in the movie. It looks like he is not doing anything really but that is the real performance he is just real and normal. The other actors are very good too, specially Lluis Homar and Spanish actor and Jon Ariño who plays the really bad and disgusting character of the movie. At one point in the movie he grabs the pretty girl in the movie and takes her and then he … and she… until someone goes and…well I am not going to tell you because it will spoil the movie for all of you that read this and now have to go and see it. The reason why you have to go a see it is because Koldo is my friend and we want him to make another movie and you all know how the market works.
Anyway, the other actors Paddy Coseldine and Virgine Ledoyen or something like that are very good but as the reviewer of the paper says the one that is great is an Spanish actor called Lluis Homar. He has a really nice character to play but never the less he does it very well. The way he plays with his face and all the details are fantastic.
The movie has a really high standard but the script is too cryptic. The director and the writer do not give enough information to the audience to follow what happens and enjoy the movie. There are plenty of moments where I felt completely captured by the movie but there were somewhere I was asking myself why? While I did that I came out of the action of the movie and then I had to try to get back in again. Pity.
The ambience and the decoration are amazing and the idea for the movie is genius. One review said that the movie drinks from Deliverance and Straw Dogs but the director does not take the movie to that place where it will make it a genial movie. It is a genre movie and that comes out really well. Some people said it is a western and while watching the movie I felt exactly as if I was really watching a western.
I was very impressed when I left the theatre. Koldo had done a ninety minutes movie with Hollywood stars in a forest and a house and it was not bad at all. I really had a great time in the cinema. Thanks Jon, Gary, Paddy, Virginy etc but thanks Koldo.
Have fun.LIFE
Hello;
I fell a little bit bad. I am not confident enough to say to my friends and family that I have not had enough fun doing the show in Switzerland and the most important part of it that I am not good in the show. Once again the circle closes. When I was young trying to be an actor I was always bad and now once again I am bad in a show.
I have felt so drained during the creation of Bless that now I cannot even move. Emotionally I am a piece of shit. Well, yes that is how I fell.
My lovely wife is in her room studying for her next exam and I have spent the whole day reading a wonderful book called “The Broken Folly's”. I was glued to the sofa. The pages were passing in front of me and thou I managed to go for the paper and to do a couple of things after lunch I became a vegetable like the plants of the windows.
My friends are back in their houses and the fact that they seem to be having a life at the moment makes mine even smaller. Petra is in Switzerland with Roger. His brother has not woken up yet from the accident and they are with Roger's parents and family trying to be as helpful as possible.
Toby is in Brighton with his family and having a very good time and trying to forget about this week by concentrating in his lovely kids. He will probably fell a little bit miserable but that is just normal.
Stephan is also with his family. Probably he is moaning non-stop about all the things that surround his life the one that he has chosen. The most amazing thing is that he does not care for one second that he should not be moaning about that so he is happy doing it.
I am in my house with my wife and with twenty degrees outside in one of the warmest days of the whole winter. The weather outside is so good that is scary. I keep reading my book but even then I do not manage to fell better.
It takes time to do all the cleaning inside yourself so you can fell well. I am working on that. Is like having a long shower. When you finish usually you physical felling is very good. So this is what I am going to do during the whole week things that make me fell good about myself. So by the end of the week when I have to go back to London I will be felling like a million dollars.
I think it may be the forties crisis. I am a middle edge man and I have to suffer for I while I accept the fact that dead is closer everyday.
Go away dark thoughts¡¡ you are absolutely unnecessary¡¡ you see now they are gone and I am ready to be happy and to have a good life and to carry on reading my book.
WHAT IS NEXT?
Hello;
There is big question going through my brain all the time lately and that is the one that give the name to the blog today. What is it what I am going to do next?
Cal has offered me to go with him as assistant director or associated director to Mexico from the end of April to the beginning of June. I would love to that. I love Mexico and I love working Cal and also I love working with Cal when he is directing other people so I could learn more about the way the work goes. The problem is the money. There is not money and Cal is very generous paying me from his own wages. They would organise some workshops for me to teach and then I will be able to make some money to pay my little necessities.
The other option is to do a show in one theatre in London. That would be something that I have never done before and that it could open for me other doors. The parts I have to play are not very big. I do not want to say anything about the name of the theatre and the play because I have not being offered the part properly from the theatre. There is a little bit of problem because when the rehearsals start I will be in Canada so I will miss the first week.
The other option is to start to work in a show I am preparing in Bilbao with my actors friends here. We have to get a grand to do the show and that is not going to be easy at all because there are many administrative formalities that we have not full fill yet and that are a little bit expensive. That show is going to be directed by Cal and it would be with that company that I am trying to create in Bilbao. Of course it would not be directed now it would be when ever he is free but there is a lot of organisation work to be done and I do not thing my friends want to do it.
The next option is that we want to get pregnant and for that and in the situation that my great wife and me are needs time and dedication and I are not talking about the fucking business. No, we have a problem to get pregnant so we need time to go to see doctors and get treatments and my lovely wife need me to be there and for the first time ever I want to be there even if I think I am going to get bored and I am going to be boring for everybody else.
Also I would like to try to work over there a little bit more if I can. It is now so many years that I have not done a show in Bilbao that I fell as if I do not belong any more over there. Perhaps not just in Bilbao I would love to work in Madrid too.
But the only thing I am sure it is next is Brighton and then Newbury and the Calgary for three weeks.
Have fun.TODAY
Hello;
I am felling really tired. I am walking down the street going to my parent's house to have breakfast and I can fell my body saying; do you really have to move? My legs hurt quite a lot and there is nothing I can do, I cannot stop going to places and doing things while I am here in my little town.
I am ready to do things because I do not have too much time here with my relatives and people that I know for many years. I left on the second of January. So I have been for quite a long time away from here and I am tired of not seeing them. I do not remember being so home sick since many years. The times when we worked for Circus Knie were really hard but at the end we were not really home sick it was more I think about having people to tell the stories of the amazing time that we have had while doing that job. Perhaps amazing is not the right word I think original makes more justice to the time we had with the Circus of the Elephants.
But today walking on the streets of my village a start to realise that I have been missing this stupid and provincial little place probably more than I have ever done it before.
Oh, look¡ there is a new traffic light there¡ and Hola, lets walk a little bit faster because he is going to think that I want to have a chat with him and there nothing close to that intention.
The show is out and once again we have been a little bit of a success in Switzerland. Uff, my back it really hurts. Yes, it is just down there immediately under my ribs. I cannot think of anything I did that made my back hurt. Oh, well probably because I have not done any Pilates for a long time now. I have warm up and things like that before the show and I am sure that has helped but I am loosing completely all my form. My stomach is getting bigger and the only thing I can make it go back to the way it was is by doing lots of exercise and eating more consciously.
I am almost there. I have the papers and I have the croissants and the sandwich for my mum. I did not know I was so tired. It is true I travelled yesterday from very early in the morning until almost five thirty in the afternoon. It took me as much time to come from Zurich to Bilbao, as it will take me if I would want to travel to New York. But of course is cheaper if you do it like that and apart from getting older in Spymonkey we are getting poorer.
There it is my parents flat. I have pain in my elbow and my knee was burnt against the floor at one point during the show. So every time we did the show this week my knee got burnt again. Well, I am going to have a nice and long breakfast now.
Have fun.TEARS & STATIONS
Hello;
For the last ten years I have been working for and with Spymonkey. In my head the best thing that could happen to me was to have work with my company and to do things with my friends. One day all my wishes became reality. I was doing work all the time with Spymonkey and I was spending all the time with them too.
Then I started to fell sad. Sad like when you are in a place where you cannot leave. Sad like when you are in prison and your sentence runs ‘till the end of your life, sad like when you are in the middle of the ocean and you do not know which is the direction to land. So in the middle of the airport my eyes get watery. Yes, I have an attack of despair. I fell supremely lonely. I fell as if there is nothing I can do and it is not up to me. I fell as if I am trap like a rat in a mousetrap.
No body is looking but if they were they could not see anything because I am wearing my sunglasses. I am at Zurich Airport and the sun has managed to get through for a little bit. I fell tired in my heart. My body is tired but I will rest and then I will be fine but is my heart what it worries me. Another set of tears appears in my eyes.
It is not like when you cry and you breath really fast and you make a fool of yourself, my tears and lonely tears of loneliness. They come out of your eyes one by one and roll all the way down to end of your face and then drop on your shirt.
I have changed my thoughts so the tears have stopped.
I left Stephan in Zurich. He was going by train back to Austria. It was going to take him eight hours but he had plenty of movies to watch in DVD.
The rest of the team were going to the mountains and were expecting to fly back home next day. Some of them were going to go to a monastery thirty minutes away from Wadenswill where there is a black virgin. Others were going to snowboarding and Petra was going to stay with Roger because his brother had an accident three days ago and he was in coma. Times are becoming a little bit bleak dead is all around us and then a couple of single tears have appeared in my eyes and now they are calling me to board my plane.
I need to find a happy spirit inside me. There is not way where I fell as happy as I felt the last years. It is as if the future is going to make me no good and I am going to suffer. Perhaps that is what is all about, I am getting older and I am resisting accepting new responsibilities and became a grown up person.
There is a bunch of old men boarding the same plane as me. I saw them when I was checking in. There are fifteen of them and they seem to have the same age. They have been arriving at different times. I have been looking at them because it does look like they have not see each other's for quite a while. They greet to each other very ceremoniously so I gather they were together in the army. One of them shouted really laud “General”. I wander if they fought together in the war and now they meet every year for a week to remember. I am not sure but I like to invent these stories. And as I look at them two more single tears appear in my eyes and this time there are not sunglasses so I have to sneeze because someone is looking at me.
Have fun.
MARTIN SUTHERLAND
Hello;
“Marketing Sutherland” as Petra calls him arrived yesterday at seven to see the show. Martin is a very old friend of the company or perhaps one of the first friends of the company ever. He was the producer and the guy who did all our business in the very beginning of the Spymonkey life. He took us on board in this very place and he took us to the next possible steps. One day things were not working as well as they had been working until then and both parties had different interests so we went apart. Since then we have always been very happy to see each other and we have kept a very close relationship helping each other whenever possible.
He runs the Corn Exchange in Newbury where we will be playing Bless in a couple of weeks. He came to Zurich and we did the best show until now. We had lots of fun with show for the first time. I think that these two weeks we have gone really far forward with the work and that has been really great. I think that the fact that we were not in London has helped a lot.
The show was sold out and it did work very well. The audience had a considerable knowledge of the English language and that helped the understanding of the show. While talking to some members of the after the show they mention that they had seen all the previous shows of the company and that they loved the work.
Our impression is that the show is not really ready yet. We have enough “meat” to defend any material that is not yet completely ready but that is not the point.
Then I have to mention that Gabi Gestly came to see the show with four friends. Gabi was also our first producer – manager we ever had. Things did not work out because we were in England and she could not find enough work for us so we went with Martin.
Between you and me, Gabi is one of the prettiest and most sophisticated women I have ever met. She remains me of Grace Kelly, the cold beauty. She is always wonderfully dressed and …I like her very much.
After this confession I think there is nothing else I can say to you. I am felling a little bit vulnerable. And that is exactly how I felt when I was talking to her; I was shipping from my glass none stop that when I tried to say another word I was already too drunk. She left and she did not really think much of the show either. She said that it is very early stages and she is sure the show would get better. She is probably right.
The night came to a natural end, I suppose Martin had a long drinking night and that was nice because he had come all the way from England to see the show so he deserved to enjoy. Matt Muller was there too. Him and Cal were celebrating their first anniversary as a married couple. It is very exciting to think that a year ago we were all at the weeding in London.
I am going to bed now.
Have fun.
BASAL BRUSH
Hello:
During lunch Cal with his innocent voice asked Andy “ has anybody ever told you?” he stopped in the middle of the question to point out that the question did not mean to upset him and carried on “ has any body ever told you that you look a little bit like Basal Brush?” A bit of a silent moment in the table, we looked at Andy waiting for his reaction and then he laughed. Once he did that everything was fine.
He said that some people have mentioned something similar in the pass. And the rest of the lunch we spend it in trying to make him to do the classic ¡¡oh!! ¡¡Oh!! And he did not do it. He is very funny Andy, a very good sport with a great sense of humour.
They all are really. These last days that I was not having the best of times I have been able to watch at them and see that they are having a very good time and they all are a really good laugh and a very professional bunch that work really hard.
Lucy made me write this. Tanya said that she used to write a blog but she does not do it anymore. Andy says he has followed in the pass the fatspicblog and that he did not mind to be in it.
Graeme, Lucy and the rest of them are more used to the whole Spymonkey affair; messy, chaotic and all dressed with very good laughs.
We did have a better show yesterday night. Paul and Theresa the mother of his first child, and many other friends came to see the show. They kind of enjoy which is nice.
The more we do the show the more became clear for all of us that this is a long run project because it is very difficult piece to write. I allowed myself a couple of drinks and then I went home to see a movie in my computer.
“A bitter sweet life” was the title of the movie. Made in South Korea it has amazing shoots and the story is fantastic. I thought I am not going to see the whole movie because I will end up going to sleep very late and I was so gripped by the things happening that I did not stop until I had seen the whole movie.
I fell really well protected and taking care off by the wonderful team that we have. For the first time Spymonkey has a sound team, a fat team, shit team that make sure that we the actors do not have to do anything else than what we have to do which is to be good on the stage. At the end of the day the fact that I was being really bad it made me fell even guiltier towards these great people working for us.
I know they might read this so there are a bunch of ass holes but nice clean shave ass holes as we like them, lots of love to all of them and my big thanks.
Have fun.
FIRST TWO REVIEWS
Hello;
Two good reviews have come out off the show this morning. One was not very good and the other was and that was very nice. The show it is not at all ready but it is great that there are people in the world that has been able to see the potential of the show at this early stages.
In one of the papers the man who did not like it very much and was sitting in the first row taking notes in front of us with a face with no jokes. Well, him said, I ‘ve been told that the first scene of the play is about the fight between Mohamed and Mother Theresa representing evil and good. We do not like very much that, I do not like very much that because I am the one that plays Mohamed and I could get kill. Also I like Arabs and I like Muslims. It is true I hate fundamentalisms and I do not care the kind of fundamentalists in order for me to hate, I hate as much the ones from one side as I hate the ones from the other side.
All the things that one reviewer liked the other did not. It shows that every member of the audience is important and necessary and their personal opinion of the show has as much value to us as any other. Well, that is not really true; if we have a good “opinion” from the big and important papers we will get bigger audiences and that will help us to get richer and to have more work. So that is show business.
We got notes from Cal. The show last night was shit. I am shit at the moment and there is very little I can do to get out of the bucket of shit. I try and I try but it does not seem to happen. I have full trust in my colleges and in the maestro but still I fell the urge for the fun to come back. So push and I panic instead of just relax and enjoy the moment no matter what happen.
I got upset the night before for something I did wrong in the show that Cal told that and me I knew. I could not stay so I went home to suffer in solitude. I knew that move will sparkle a conversation and I could apologised to the team and at the same time beg for a little bit of understanding and put myself in a position where I could face the coming shows with happiness.
The show goes slowly and the process is quite hard and tiring. We have chosen a strong subject to tackle and you can not just mess around like with a toy. We artists need to full fill more or less the expectations of our audiences in order for them to be satisfied.
On the other hand we have problems with the lighting designer. We do not know why or how this is become like that but we do not seem to be very good in selecting people that can understand the way we work or to give us what we want and what we like. The whole thing has not finished yet but I am sure I will be able to tell you more things as soon as the whole thing gets resolve in one way or the other.
Have fun.
BY THE LAKE
Hello
When you look through the window at Theatre Ticcinno you see the beautiful Zurich Lake. The Lake is surrounded by small hills and on the opposite side of Zurich is a big chain of very high mountains. When I write this they are full of snow. There are not lots of snow all around the Zurich Lake. In Wadenswill where the theatre is everybody has been talking about the fact that tomorrow is going to snow and for the two weeks we have been here it has not snow.
Zurich is at the west part of the lake and on the east part there is a small airport where I landed once with Marcus plane. I was not driving it, Marcus did I just went down with him. It was the most exciting and terrifying flight of my life.
The storms come and go through the lake. They get inside Zurich through the big valley of the French Pyrenees and when they arrive to the lake they are ready to unload anything that they have managed to carry through the mountains.
So while sitting here in the new café of the theatre you do not want to get into the auditorium to see a play a leave the beautiful lake and nature behind.
The trains go in front and behind the theatre all the time so when you are playing you can hear them and you have to try to include them in your show best you can. That is mainly for the ones that pass through the back of the house meanwhile the ones that pass in front give to the whole landscape a flavour of timeless. Trains of all kinds go through in front of the house so for Andy who likes trains a lot to be here this is a bonus.
Now, there is one passing just now as I am typing. This time is one of those that are very modern and have two floors. They are read and yellow and they have lots of metal colour and they go not too fast because the station is really close.
I have been here in the summer but this place for me belongs to the winter. When we were here last time we were younger. We have been looking at some pictures and it shows in our faces that we have gone older. Last time we did Cooped and we did a party were we said good-bye to Europe. We said that the theme of the party was going to be Elvis because we were leaving for Las Vegas. Neil organised an amazing band that sang lots covers of the king and we dance and had lots of fun. We were not going to see the not sunny side of the lake of Zurich the one that is the dearest for us.
You look out to the water on the lake and as the sun sets the water become choppy. I do not know why and I think it is because the power of the moon getting closet to the lake makes him scare so he trembles. In the morning when the moon is going back the lake rests and the waters are calm and placid working as a mirror for the mountains and all the pretty villages that surround him.
Have fun.
FIRST BLESS PREVIEW
Hello;
First part of the day: Like a big gang of birds we all flew away to our nests and this morning we went back to the group to follow our long journey to warmer lands where to spend the winter. Everybody brought their missing bits and got ready to carry on with things from the night before.
We had a clear plan in the schedule and we were determent to full fill it. We had a dress rehearsal at eleven thirty but knowing that could start at twelve. The atmosphere in the room was good an optimistic as it should be. And then after a rocky start we went for the full on dress rehearsal that we had planned.
Cal said that it did go very well. As far as I am concern I was happier but I did not like it. I have not being able to find my pleasure and I think the reason is because I do not have a part and I have to fish between the other two clowns. They play two brilliant anarchists that break the shows with their wonderful stupidities. In my case there is not a dangerous stupidity about my character. We will be trying today and I will be able to tell you how did it go.
We received a wonderful good luck “basket full of great fruit” from GMT and then Lucy gave us a card with the legend “Jesus is coming. Keep busy.” See wrote good luck with you very good show in the making.
Second part of the day;
Like a big roller coaster the adrenaline travels through my body as I gather in my head in my heart and in my body all my thoughts and the information that I need to do the show tonight. It is incredibly accelerating. I am excited and scare of what is it going to happen but the thing that scares me the most is not be like by the audience.
For a while I thought that I wanted to do a good piece of theatre and now I know that this is what I would like to do. The show fells really far away from me and I do not have a very clear picture of what kind of show is the one that we are doing?? I do not have a clue.
I am ready to go and do the show now because if do not let out all this energy I am going to transform myself in something like a beetroot.
We got ready and the room filled up really fast. In this theatre we have to be on the wings while the audience gets in because there is not other way. You hear what the people are talking. The audience is very close. We have to stay there for fifteen minutes but those were the fastest minutes ever. The show went in ten minutes. Stephan and me chatted about it afterwards. We can stop comparing Cooped with Bless. In the other one everything is more difficult still and here thou it is new we have enough energy to go and do it real fast.
After the show I said hello to Deniss and Nadia. They both looked gorgeous. Cristoph Bohn and Neil and more friends were at the bar and we all got a little bit tipsy. There were some reasons to celebrate, for instance we had a show something that two hours before we did not.
Have fun.
DRESS REHEARSAL
Hello;
“Flat¡¡ it was flat¡¡ it did not have enough energy but I am happy that it is the dress than it is the opening night. In fact it is always like that, you have a very bad dress rehearsal and then your opening night goes very well.” Cal McCrystal
We had to finish doing the technical run because the day before things had not being finish and we needed to make it to the end. We broke for lunch and then we carried on until the best part of three thirty and then we scheduled the beginning of the dress at five thirty.
And we did it from beginning to end with no stops, well just little ones because someone had forgotten things but they were really small. When the run was finished we looked at our watches and we had almost eighty minutes of show. Cal had calculated that we were going to have an hour and ten.
We did notes and everybody went for dinner. Petra and me left for the house after dinner and the rest as far as I know stayed here working until very late. Toby worked even later than midnight and Lucy did not leave the theatre until everything that she had to do was finished.
I believe Cal and Annie watched the Ken Loach movie about the creation of the IRA. So they were not really working.
Every body is going to have all their work finished for the first night apart from the actors and the director. We are in working process but the rest of the people have to have everything done so we are not work in progress.
I fell the show is not good yet. There are very expensive tricks that make the show to be worthy to watch and worthy to pay the ticket. Those are Bernadette, The Butcher, John the Baptist and all the set pieces that we have already shot. All those things either if the audience like it or not they will work and will make people happy to be watching the show. For me there is something a little bit smacks about the show, something like if we think we are very funny and I do not think that is very good. All the scenes are about fights or about getting naked and because we are doing a show about religion it is easy to be puerile and silly in a Rugby Team humour. Ah I forgot to mention that Petra does a very funny thing with a pole. Basically she is Bernadette that is going be burnt on pier and when she is starting to get really hot she just gets really hot and starts to do a pole dance. You have to come and see it to find out how funny it is or not.
After that we went home as I said. I tried to watch a movie but I could not so I read the paper a very interesting article of Juan Goitisolo about the life of Julio Caro Baroja. Whenever I am starting to do a new show where I have to be very stupid I get a very strong desire to be intellectual.
Have fun.
DARK THOUGHTS
Hello
If you have been following the blog the last weeks you would have realised by know that everything is thick and dark and with a big lack of hope. It is as my dear colleges say that this is exactly as I always felt. But nevertheless this time seems to be unique as far as I am concern and I wanted to tell you all that I am sorry.
I am not normally the brightest flower in the field but I am optimistic. Lately with all this global warming I have become a little bit pessimistic but nothing too important because probably it is the forties crisis that is starting to kick off.
I am happy with my life and there are many things I like a lot and many people I love a lot so I do have many reasons why I can be the happiest person in the world. I am almost sure part of the problem of these last two weeks it has been that we were having problems with the dynamic in the company and I was scare about its future. I am still concern about its future but never again scare.
The rehearsal time here in Switzerland is going very well and we are having a really good laugh. We work hard apart from today that we have a working day but a little bit slow and lazy so our thoughts can go to different places so tomorrow we are ready to give it the defiant puss.
Now my happiness comes and goes like anything else but I will not consider myself a very dysfunctional person thou I have my moments like everybody else.
So, I have told you I am sorry and I do not think it will happen again in the near future and I am happy to be back to my happy me.
The weather here apart from cold is just amazing and very beautiful and sunny. Normally it will make me fell very happy but the fact that it means the temperature of the earth is going up every time I see the sun shinning when it should not it up set me a little bit.
We had a mild day rehearsing. There are moments were is better to go as far away from what you are doing and thinking and then come back to it with a more happier and clear head.
I am fighting really hard to have fun. And between you and me I have fun some of the times but there are so many things missing that it makes me feel sad and to get the little amount of pleasure that I have on the stage is just enough to bring my out from the dark place where I am.
Have fun.
THE END OF OUR…
Hello;
“The end of our tether” someone said in the beginning of the day. And perhaps it is because we have been working from the Monday that we arrived to Zurich everyday non-stop from ten in the morning to seven or eight at night. If you get the chance to see our faces we look tired. We have put lots of work and lots of enthusiasm and energy in the making of this new show.
We have gathered at the dining restaurant of the Theatre Ticcino and as we are arriving our faces give a clear glimpses and idea of how much is going into the show.
Everybody is having a good time and getting along with it and thou it is a little hard the work at times the fact that everybody is doing a being super professional helps a lot.
Tanya has done an amazing schedule, for all of us that fells like working in a real theatre. So from three o'clock we have attempted to do a technical run through and little by little we have gone through the whole show.
At five forty five we have stopped for a snack time and a coffee. We all sat together in the bar and talked for a while and made jokes about each other's. It fells as if we are becoming friends. The Spymonkey team is becoming bigger and with very nice people.
And then we carried on until almost nine o'clock in the evening with the Butcher of Tijuana. It fells for me the most difficult scene of the whole show. There are so many little details that it fells very long and tiring.
Then dinner with everybody ready for a little bit of time at rest and with enough time to try to think in different things. We warmed up the meatballs, the spinach pastries for the vegetarians and some salad and then we all sat around the table with some wine and we ate. We ate and we drank and I had a great laugh all together. I really did have a fantastically great laugh. For at least three hours we laughed non stop. Toby and Stephan were not there for quite a while and then Stephan arrived and Toby carried on working on his music.
Another thing that I noticed was that now Spymonkey has lots of girls on the team. So after dinner we talked about women things for hours and we had a great laugh. I do not think the food was brilliant but the conversation and the company was genius. Thanks very much Spymonkey.
Have fun.FLOP & ROOMS
Hello,
I had a very big flop this afternoon and it hurtled very much. I had to prepare something and everything that I tried to do it was not funny and it kept everybody really bored.
I fell very uninspired and responsible for not being able to come up with thing that will make everybody not to work so hard.
Also we keep having misunderstandings with our guests here. Now we are more of a football team than a theatre-clown company. We are almost twelve people and that make very difficult to keep everything organised. But I have to say that Spymonkey has never had a better team. Everybody is great and does a fantastic work so the whole thing I think is going very smooth. But still we have some arguments with Christina and Cal's Larry David syndrome that he cannot let anything go. So sometimes our personal wishes in this new situation have to be full fill using the right channels and when we do not use them troubles appear. Toby is really tired and very worry about the whole show he likes to put the whole company on his shoulders. He is a control freak and he is not going to let go thou he exploded a little bit when the Cal's Larry David effect kicked off. It is possibly the biggest minor incident that we have had between ourselves.
Funnily enough we are struggling to find the reason why to do the show. I said funnily but I do not think that any one is thinking that is funny. We all hope that the audience will be laughing so much that would not care about what is going on as it has happened in the pass. But as Cal says “it is a worry”.
Today I had to present a piece for everybody, a funny piece that will tell my struggle while robbing the bank. I thought that it would be very good idea to start with my song and then do a little bit of mime and then have a very fast costume change and then tell how I got discovered by the police and put into prison. The fact of the matter is that I flopped big time. I did not do anything that people laughed and I did not fell like making any body laugh, which is terrible because we are doing a clown show and that is the most important thing that I should be doing. I needed to have a flop and be very bad so anything that I would do after that it will always be better.
After wards Cal told me that the reason why I had flop was because I had done old material, I decided to sang Ave Maria at the beginning of the piece, and then the audience got bored and did not want to laugh. That is exactly how I felt. I felt many other things that are related to fact that we are creating a brand new show with many other new things that I have not done before. So this is the path that you have to follow to create a new character.
Have fun.
CRISIS
Hello;
Well it is just my crisis because I am the only one that fell really destroyed about the whole thing that we are doing. I do trust everybody here and do trust that everything is going to be very well. My crisis is that I am flopping and I do not have lots of pleasure and that I do not find myself very funny at the moment.
I felt very funny this morning while rehearsing the Butcher of Tijuana that needs lots of time to be written and to do what we have to do. I am the main character of that scene and I am the one struggling the most. That is making me really unhappy. I suppose it is part of the process.
So I ask a question and nobody answer to me so that makes me fell even more out of place here. Perhaps I wonder I should give up and do different things and like Petra said the other day I could become something different like a baker. I always liked to make bread or at least the idea to make it. The real thing is that I have never made any bread in my life and I am sure I will hate to have to wake up very early everyday and then I will not have a life. So that is what I think I am going to do for the rest of my life.
If someone goes to the bar they ask what do you want to drink to everybody but not to me. If people are going up to the Fabrikbaiz and I am going up they all leave me out of their conversations. If people go to do something they do not tell me. So what I am trying to say is that because I am flopping everybody is ignoring me.
When I was good I used to do the same to the people that were flopping. They would come to talk to me and I would pretend that they were not really talking to me, like if I could not hear them. I have been bad and now I deserve the punishment.
My director is helping me a lot because he can see it.
We had a meeting this morning and I said what I thought. I told everybody that I was not having lots of fun and that I was felling I was staying behind. Then Cal said not to worry if you are block. It happens to everybody and it is not such a big thing. He said that he was confident everything was going to be normal soon and then he said that I should stop caring about everything.
Well, how can I do that? This is my company too and everybody cares and everybody is funny so I should be able to do the same, care and be funny. Well and if I cannot do that, what the fuck is I going to do? Are they all going to take me out of the show? Are you going to have me playing a little stupid part at the beginning of the show and then another stupid little part at the end? Well, let me tell you something that is not going to happen because I do not want to do that I want to have a big part in the show at least as big as my colleagues.
This is a nightmare, it really is and I want to wake up.
Have fun.
