fatspicblog

It was sad. I am not good at saying good byes. I have spent five months with this people and I have learned to love many of them. They do not include the Spymonkey. I already loved them from before thou this job have done something towards that love. I think it has increased it. We have had a very good time together. I cannot imagine to have done it without them.

Anyway, after the show tonight the last show of Palazzo’ 2009 they management gave a drink for everybody. It was actually really nice that the real cunts were not there. I have to say that specially the real cunt of Rick with a silent P. He decided not to be there. I smoked too much grass but I had the opportunity to talk for a long time with my favourite girl of the whole of Amsterdam. Yes, is Pauline. She is gorgeous. I am scaring that now I am not going to talk about anything else than about her here.

I love the colour of her skin. I am so surprise to find that she did not have a boyfriend. In any case she told me that she has very nice boobs. She stretched herself forward and Jela tried to cover them while I tried to take a picture. She told him off and finally I managed to get a proper picture.

Then I had to leave because I was getting a little bit too much infatuated. So I left the party in a very mischievous way. I hate saying good byes. I have to remember to send e-mail to Pauline as soon as possible.

My other favourite girl was my dear Ollena Borodina. She has been such a good company for all these months. We have managed to have fun together and it has not been easy to do some good work with the very little support that we were getting from the managers of this Fucking place. I love Ollena dearly and I hope I will see her again in the future. IN fact I will see her in the morning when we go to the airport.

The entire band is going to be missed. They have been really nice with us thou now thinking about it we did not get on with them as well as with our dear Canadian friends from “Lovesick.” And I cannot wait to see them again as soon as possible and I could not say the same of the band. In any case I would love to do some work with them again. 

The anticipation is not letting me live normally. My yoga subscription finished on the 20^th and now I do not have another thing to do here than going to work and that is a little bit sad. The end is so near that it fells a little bit pointless to be here.

And that is definitely the problem with endings. The anticipation is a rare form of curiosity for the future. In a certain way you can not avoid to be thinking how much your life is going to change when you stop doing what you are doing and you go back to your normal life. And in fact your normal life is to do jobs like the one we have been doing for the last five months.

In any case if I could I would stop today. I would stop now and I will go back home.

The nice thing is that now that we know we have done we are doing the show better than ever. We have done it many times but we also know that when we did it the first time there was no show. Now we have created a small baby that walks and some nights even run.

That baby has been a little bit of an abortion or better a no wanted one. He has got so many slaps and punches that I am surprised it has managed to survive and now the bad guys are the ones who decided to create it without thinking in the consequences.

Never the less now my flat is almost clean and I have emptied the fridge apart from milk and coffee for breakfast and I could go today but I have do a show tomorrow too.

Now we are having so many days off that it is a little bit insulting. We came here to work and to make money so every time we do not have a show to do it is a little bit less money that we stop making.

I am tired thou but also I know that this is not going to go for too much long so I am ready to give it the last push.

I went today to buy some clocks for Miren. I got some for Lourdes during Christmas and Miren liked them very much so I went to the same shop and I asked for a pair. They did not have any left. They had some but they were a completely different style. So I called Miren and I told her that there were none. Also I told her that I would get some for her when I go on tour to Norway.

I have missed Miren a lot while being here. The other job that we did very long was in Las Vegas and she was there almost the whole time. Now since Christmas I think I have seen her two times or three, I am not sure. I have tried to see her every three weeks but it is definitely not enough.

She was here for three weeks in November and it was nice thou I was a little bit of an asshole for quite a while. The job we were doing was really bad and then we were having some problems in Spymonkey that for reasons that escape my human powers I can’t comment in here. And that affected very much my humour and my general being. I did like her being around all the time. I am in love with her and I like every time that she is around. There are not many opportunities that she is around because now she has a job but I miss her and I miss her being with me.

So I have had a day off that has been dedicated fully to get ready to go back home. I have been doing the last shopping and I have also being doing the last packing or better the beginning of the last packing and I am ready to leave in no time.

And the entire gang is finally here. They all have come from all over the place and there was so much expectation that finally when they arrived here it was fantastic.

And let me tell you something about what it is the expectation when you are doing all the preparations to create a new show. It is especially big when you have been preparing a show for two years. We have been thinking about this show for almost two years and now, today is the first day where we have told everybody that we are going to do that show. In a funny short of way we have made the promise to each other’s that we will do it and we will do it very well.

I have found amazing people here that have made my time in this place a thousand times better than if they would not have been part of this job.

One of them and with no doubt my favourite person in this place is Rick the stage manager. I remember that when we arrived here he was not going to be working all the time in Palazzo but they were such a mess that they had to call someone with a little bit of head and sympathy to balance the amount of stupidity that we were surrounded by.

And he was building the tent and I arrived to the tent and he came to me and he said my name is Rick and how can I help you? All of this he did with a huge smile and a very funny and charming Australian accent. He is a friend now and he will always be a friend and I hope that if he ever reads this he knows that we love him.

Other people there were Georis in kitchen. He was great. He was Ramana’s brother but he was very nice and much more straight than his crazy brother. I remember TG and Jerome and Paul that looked like an ex-Nazi trying to go by bulling everybody in the kitchen.

I am talking about them as if the time has passed and I am going to see them tomorrow but in my head all this people are going to be part of my memories very soon but I want to say out loud and clear in here that thanks to them I have had a much better time in Palazzo.

Patrick, Tony, Jella, and the people serving the table have been very nice and supportive. They knew we were troubles but they always helped us.

Then and to end the band and the sound and light guys, Michael, Jan, Hussein, Arthur, Tomas, Scott and then Rick, Jan and Tom there was another guy but he was too much for his own pear shape body. I am not talking about fat I mean pear shape.

Hey, I just gave a workshop with the artists of Palazzo. We had three days off and in a kind of move that still amaze me fourteen people were gathered by Walter to do a workshop in his studio.

It was a little bit of nerve racking but it was very nice.

I had a great time.

The one that really surprise me was Sersteen. I am sure this is not the way she spell her name but I am terrible with names so I hope that she can forgive me for miss spelling her name.

She was so scare that she went for it every time that she went on the stage and she blow every bodies minds.

It was such a mixture of people. There were people with experience and then there were people with no experience at all. I do believe that the mixture of different levels helps so people fell less inhibited.

Michael and his girlfriend, Woody, Ramana, Oksana, Tanya, Ollena, the magician from the TV show, I said this because I do not remember his name. Petra was there, making a full of her and she is amazing.

And of course I almost forgot Kalki. She was very funny and also she has been all the time with us in Palazzo. In fact she is more than anyone before the sixth Spymonkey. I think she deserves one blog just for herself.

On the way to the place where the workshop was going to happen a bridge that we were going to cross started to open. The bridge opened completely and let a big boat to pass by. It was very impressive. It did not take very long but I took some pictures and there they are.

Cal was here last night. It was probably the most difficult show we have done in the whole of the five months. All the material that we have created for the last ten years we have created with Cal. When we came to do this show he told us that as far as he was concern we could use the material we just had to credit him. And we did. When you read the program it says that all the Spymonkey material was created with Cal McCrystal.

He arrived with enough time to sit on the table and start to see the show. It was nice to see him laughing because for all of us he is a comedy genius and when you see him laughing with something that you are doing it means that you are doing something right.

He was sitting very close to the stage so it was very obvious that you had to say hello to him. It was not like in a normal play where you can ignore someone that you respect and intimidate you so there we were looking to Cal’s eyes and to Scott’s eyes. They came together. Scott brought Cal to see the show because he may ask him in the future to direct one Palazzo show. I believe Cal would be amazing directing one of the Palazzo shows.

After the show we all had some drinks together and then I had to go home. I’m afraid I had drunk one too many.

There were flowers everywhere. There were balloons everywhere. There were little envelopes with hears and little messages with Xs all over and O and X and the ink in the envelopes were in very sweat colours. There were chocolates everywhere and different kinds of sweats. There were bottles of champagne and glasses of champagne placed in couples.All those things there were but no one of them were for us. Every single person in Palazzo got a love message or a love wish that they could take into their hearts but not us.

So we grew bitter. We behave cynical and we killed as much as we could the spirit of San Valentine. If someone is in love is stupid and a puff. If someone got flowers or balloons is a looser and they can fuck themselves.

As you can see we were really bitter and destroyed. All the Russian girls in the show had had presents and cards and then when we thought that we were not going to get anything Georis came into the room with a balloon and a cake and a card for Petra. She had been working for four months to get his attention and today love really existed and it was in the air. It was in the air of our dressing room and thou we did not get anything Petra did and made all of us really happy.

Happy Valentine Everybody.

But you see now that I am here I just cannot stop missing all the good things that I was having while I was in Bilbao. I know it is a big contradiction to have the desire of being in one place and once you have managed to be there for then you spend almost the whole time just telling bad things about the place. It is far too crazy.

So I want to be there. I do not want to be here any more. This place kind of kills me. I do not really want to become too repetitive because you do all know by now how do I fell about the Holland country so there is not need for me to say anything else. That felling about the Holland country does not include all those lovely people that have become my friends after five months working together. Thou I would like to point out that there are not many who are really completely Dutch.

And that is probably if not definitely the best thing about the Holland. Here there are people from many different countries in the world that I find particularly exciting. It is such an amazing discovery to talk to all these lovely waitresses thou they call themselves hostesses that are originally from Turkey and hear them talking about how great it is their country and how much do they miss it. And I am sure it is true because for what they tell me here things are completely different to what is going on in his beautiful and exciting country of origin.

Never the less I am not going to be here long. Oh, Bilbao, Istanbul, Bogotá, Rio de Janeiro, and Beirut I miss you all.

It is surprisingly exciting to fell nothing. I mean of course I am felling something but I mean that I am not felling anything similar to what I have been felling while I was in Amsterdam doing the job. There is something about the job that we are doing now that leaves job a little bit senseless. ¡¡¡You do know what I mean!!! We are working for the enemy. They have hired as to make money and sadly we are not the best people to make money with because if that would be the case we would have become rich by now.

And the funny thing is that I am in Bilbao today. Yes, it should not be so important the fact that I am in Bilbao. I was born there and I have live here a very important part of my life but it is. It gives me a very subjective view of everything that I do and of everything that I am.

I have arrived yesterday. It is my regular visit that I normally do to see Miren. For many, may years now I see Miren every three weeks at least when I do not see her all the time.

I do like Bilbao but I do not like to be here all the time. It is far too conservative and provincial. The great thing is that I can leave from time to time. All these people next to me may not even have the possibility of leaving these places when they fell. I mean they can but they do not. In any case that is not important.

I am thinking that may be I should have stayed this week end in Amsterdam and come back here just at the end, I had got a rhythm and I am going to loose it now.

Now it is just a matter to go on all the way to the end.