The great English tragedian Forbes Murdston brings together Spanish soap star Alfredo Gravés, German Expressionist Udo Keller and pop diva Mandy Bandy to do battle over the soul of Murdston's romantic drama.

The action takes place some time in the 1960s at Birch End, the dilapitated ancient seat of the Murdstons.

A misty night.

A young girl arrives at a remote railway station in the heart of darkest Northumberlandshirehampton to take up her position as confidential secretary to the reclusive Forbes Murdston. Beautiful, fawn-like, swinging, but a hostage to passion, Laura knows now that life - and love - will never be the same again...

...And her an orphan!

She has ignored for as long as she can the unsettling rumours that surround her new employer, his ominous manservant Klaus and the ancient mansion. But Murdston’s violent moodswings can only signify one thing: INSANITY!

Her terrible dreams seem to warn of some impending calamity. If only she could get word to Inspector Judadench to warn him. In her desperation she turns to the trusty family lawyer Roger Parchment. How can she leave Forbes now, now that he is so close to finishing his memoirs? How can she leave him when she has grown to love him?

Yes, now... now she is truly... COOPED!